


To Run Away From You

by aewriting



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex gets the hell out of Roswell, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brief mention of past controlling relationship (OC), But can he ever really move on?, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, outsider pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23857210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewriting/pseuds/aewriting
Summary: Alex moves out of Roswell. But it's hard to move on.This is an outsider POV piece.
Relationships: Alex Manes/Original Male Character(s), Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 30
Kudos: 92





	To Run Away From You

**Author's Note:**

> The basic idea for this one-shot has been percolating for months, but last night it finally reached critical mass, and here it is.

“Dude. What the fuck?”  
  
Luke whips around to look at Angela.  
  
“You said that the guy you met was ‘kind of cute.’” She glances at the bar, where Alex is currently ordering them another round. “ _That_ ,” she says pointedly, “is not ‘kind of cute,’ that’s fucking _hot_.”  
  
Luke sighs. “Believe me, I know.” Angela’s frowning, just sipping the melted dregs of her margarita and looking thoughtfully at Alex. “What?”  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
“No,” Luke says quickly. “That face is not nothing. What are you thinking, seriously?”  
  
Angela hesitates a beat too long.  
  
“Angela,” Luke says, a little sharply. “I want to know. After everything with Rick...”  
  
Angela blows out a breath. “No, no, you’re right. It’s just... the way you described him, with the whole off-the-grid cabin in the woods and the mysterious past and job and the injury and everything... like, this just isn’t what I pictured.”  
  
“He’s out of my league. Just say it. Like, you’re wondering what’s wrong with him.”  
  
“No! Oh my god, Luke, no.”  
  
Luke scoffs a little, sips his beer. “Cause that’s what I’ve been wondering for the past three months.”  
  
***  
They’d met in a bar, because of course they did. Luke isn’t even a big drinker, but that’s where he’d met his last three boyfriends. Not, like, the same bar, he’s not _that_ bad. And the night he met Alex, at least, he’d just been there for the live music. He’d come to find out that’s what had reeled Alex in, too.  
  
He’d been in total disbelief when they’d gone back to his place, after. He’d been taking a break from all the hook-up apps and really _really_ had just been trying to listen to some live music, and suddenly this gorgeous guy was unbuckling his pants, reaching down, then...  
  
Pausing.  
  
Fuck.  
  
“I have to tell you something.”  
  
He knew it was too good to be true.  
  
“Um, before this goes any further, you should probably know...”  
  
Shit. He has a husband. A criminal record.  
  
“I’m missing part of my right leg. I wear a prosthetic.”  
  
Luke couldn’t help the relieved little laugh that escaped him. “Shit, man, that’s fine.” He’d grimaced, briefly. “I mean, it doesn’t change anything on my end, okay?” he’d said, gesturing to the evidence.  
  
The guy, Alex, seemed to relax a little at that. “Right, then.”  
  
***  
“I don’t usually do shit like this,” Alex had said, after. His breath had sounded almost normal again.  
  
“Mmm,” Luke had said, noncommittal, because he _did_ usually do shit like this. He’d glanced at the clock, frowned. “Damn. At this point, you should just stay.”  
  
Alex had frozen.  
  
“I mean, you don’t have to,” Luke backtracked. “But the days are so long now, and the sun will be up soon enough, and didn’t you say you live a ways out?” He could tell Alex was considering it. “We can go to a diner or something in the morning, grab a bite?”  
  
Alex had looked at him for a long minute. “I’m trying to do some things differently,” he’d said, carefully. And in that moment he’d looked almost... shy. “So, yeah,” he’d finally said. “I’ll stay.”  
  
***  
  
His friends hadn’t believed him.  
  
“I think he’s fake.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
Erika had scoffed. “This Alex guy you’ve been telling us about. The hermit.”  
  
Luke had rolled his eyes. “He’s not a hermit, he’s just...” His voice trailed off as Erika stared at him dubiously. He’d shrugged. “Okay he’s kind of a hermit.”  
  
“Thank you!”  
  
Telling Alex about the exchange... that’s how they’d ended up out with Angela tonight.  
  
Because Luke had tried to pass it off as a joke, like it didn’t bother him. “I mean, look at you,” he’d said, gesturing at Alex. “I get it if you don’t want to be seen out in public with me.”  
  
The effect was immediate. Alex’s face had hardened. He’d swallowed, once, and met Luke’s eyes with a ferocity Luke wasn’t anticipating. “Plan something,” he’d said. “Tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.” His next words were so soft that Luke could barely hear them. “I’m not running away. I’m _not_.”  
  
***  
The sex is... well.  
  
It’s good.  
  
It’s very good.  
  
In retrospect, maybe that’s why Luke never questioned too much, never really pushed for, for _more_ from Alex.  
  
He knows a few things. Alex is new to Austin. From somewhere out west. Ex-military. Something pretty shitty in his past that he doesn’t like to talk about. Maybe a lot of shitty somethings, given Alex’s general reticence.  
  
God, the sex, though.  
  
“Like it’s weird, right?” he’s telling James over brunch. “He just, like, spends all his time holed up in his little cabin, working on shit that he can’t tell me about.” He drags a small piece of English muffin through the hollandaise sauce, chews it thoughtfully. “He’s the hottest guy I’ve ever been with.”  
  
James glares at him. “God, I’m sorry,” Luke says, genuinely regretful. “I always forget that we actually...”  
  
James raises an eyebrow, then grins. “I’m just messing with you, man. I don’t care. It was one time, and we were both drunk.”  
  
“You’re _very_ hot, James,” Luke says earnestly, by way of an apology.  
  
James shrugs, smiles. “I know.”  
  
At that, Luke pulls out his phone. Brings up one of the few pictures he has of Alex, a casual snap from a few weeks ago. Silently, he slides the phone over to James.  
  
“Well, damn,” he says, looking it over for a long moment before sliding it back to Luke.  
  
“I know.”  
  
“I mean, you’re no slouch but...”  
  
Luke blows out a breath. “Yeah.” He shakes his head a little. “And, like, it would be one thing if that was all this was, right? If he was just some, like, pretty boy gym rat. But he’s actually nice. Smart. Kinda tough, too, in a way, which I like. Like, he was in the military and shit, still does...”  
  
“What, what does he do?”  
  
Luke sighs. “That’s the thing, I don’t know exactly what he does. Something with computers, and security, maybe? He doesn’t really talk about it, and I don’t really push.”  
  
James is quiet. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you like this.  
  
“Yeah.” He gulps the last of his Bloody Mary. “I... I think I might really like him.”  
  
***  
He’s at Alex’s cabin one night, far outside Austin. They’d gone out in the city - a rare thing. Does Luke wish it happened more often? Yes, of course. But there’s something about Alex that makes him want to follow his lead, give him space.  
  
“I know,” Alex is saying softly as he runs his hand up Luke’s hip, “that I’m not always the easiest. Like, I’m never going to be the guy in the middle of everything - going to shows, to brunch. I... with the work I do and my,” he falters, swallows hard, “my past, I need this distance. Privacy.” His eyes are wide as he looks at Luke.  
  
Luke just leans in, kisses him, and Alex kisses back.  
***  
  
It continues like this for almost a year. They talk, and text, video chat during the week. Weekends, Luke either goes out to the cabin, or Alex comes into town. Some weekends Alex is gone, though, on “business.” He’s always cagey about where he goes, what he does. Once, he’d come back with a bandaged wrist.  
  
Luke wishes he’d trust him enough to tell him the truth.  
  
But after everything with Rick - Rick, his ex, an older banker who’d tried to tell him what to wear, what to eat, how often to work out... yeah, after Rick, a little space is not something Luke’s going to complain about. And besides, he’s pretty sure Alex could kick Rick’s ass if it ever came down to it.

***

He teases Alex all the fucking time about how off the grid he is, how out of touch with pop culture.  
  
Alex quirks an eyebrow. “Don’t come at me about pop culture. Back in school, I...” He trails off, notices that Luke is watching him with rapt attention. “What?” he asks, a little uncomfortable.  
  
“It’s just, you never really talk about growing up, or your past.” Luke shrugs. “I... I just want to learn more about you.”  
  
So Alex tells him - not a lot, but a few things. He’s from a small town in New Mexico. Had a mean dad. Used to have a septum ring. Liked Panic! Complicated feelings about the military. After, Alex looks thoughtful. “That’s the most I’ve told anyone in years.”  
  
“Thanks for telling _me_.”

***

They’re eating really good enchiladas at a new place downtown. James had told Luke about it. “Take your man there. Impress him. Have a real conversation about the two of you.”  
  
It’s working, Luke thinks. Alex looks more relaxed than usual.  
  
“God, these are good,” Alex is saying, big smile on his face. “Tastes like home.”  
  
“Yeah?” Luke asks, pleased.  
  
“Yeah,” Alex says. Leans back in his chair a little. Considers Luke. “Look, I’m, I’m coming to the end of a work project. And once that happens, I think... I think I want to give this a real try, you know?”  
  
Luke frowns a little. “A, a real try?” he asks, confused.  
  
“Yeah,” Alex says carefully. “Boyfriends?”  
  
Luke is frowning now. “Is that not... is that not what we’ve been?”  
  
Alex swallows. “I... I didn’t know. With you working downtown and me so far out, I just, just didn’t know if, if that’s what this was to you.”  
  
Luke is staring at him, a little uncomprehending. “What else would it be?”  
  
Alex shrugs, doesn’t say anything.  
  
“It’s been over a year, Alex.” The frown deepens. “All this time, what, do you think I’ve been seeing you on the weekends, and banging other dudes during the week?”  
  
Alex shrugs. “Wouldn’t... wouldn’t blame you if you did.”  
  
“Well I didn’t.” Luke’s frustrated now - at Alex, for assuming this, and at himself, for never bringing this up before. “Is... is that what you were doing?”  
  
Alex’s eyes widen. “No!” He scoffs. “You know where I live, what I do.”  
  
“I know where you live, but I have no clue what you really do.” Luke bites his lip. Debates what he’s about to say, says it anyway. “Who’s Michael?”  
  
He knows he’s hit a nerve by the way Alex’s face immediately pales.  
  
“He texts you. All hours of the night.”  
  
Alex looks at him coldly. “You’ve looked at my phone?” he asks in a measured tone.  
  
“The lock screen, yeah,” Luke says. “You’ve got two modes at night, man. You’re either tossing and turning or you’re out cold. There’ve been nights where I’ve heard you get three, four messages in a row. Sometimes more. They’re almost always from him. Or some guy named Kyle.”  
  
Alex laughs a bit at that one. The laugh dies quickly though, and he’s left staring at Luke. “Kyle’s a friend. He’s helping me with a side project. And Michael’s a...” He trails off, takes a small sip of his tequila. Sighs. “Michael’s damn complicated. I guess he’s an ex?” He shakes his head. “We, we were on and off for a long time but never really, like, _dated_. It’s over. It’s been over since before I moved out here.”  
  
“He know that?”  
  
Alex scoffs. “ _Oh_ yeah.”  
  
They’re silent for a while. “Look, Alex, I really like you. In, in my mind we’ve been together for a while, and I’m sorry now that I never actually, like, talked about that with you. I’m, I’m not used to, like, taking the lead on stuff like that. In a relationship.” He looks down. “I’ve told you. About Rick. And I’ve always liked, with you, that you don’t try to control me. Like, at all.” He looks up. “But there’s a difference between not trying to control someone and not giving a shit. So,” he eyes Alex, “do you give a shit?”  
  
Alex sighs, very deeply. “Of _course_ I do.” He’s quiet for a while. “I’m older than you,” he finally says. It’s not what Luke expects. “And you, your parents seem nice. Supportive.” Luke nods. “Wasn’t like that for me. My dad... hated me. Hated this part of me specifically,” Alex says, gesturing between the two of them. “And when I joined the Air Force, it was still DADT.”  
  
Luke looks at him blankly.  
  
“Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.”  
  
“Oh okay,” Luke says. “I’ve heard of that.”  
  
“Yeah. Made it illegal for me to be with another guy. Publicly, or even just if anyone found out.” He swallows. “I’ve known Michael since high school. All that stuff - my dad, the military, it played a big part. There were other things, later. But that’s where it started.”  
  
“You guys still, like, friendly?”  
  
Alex’s lip twitches. “It’s weird, with Michael.” He looks at Luke. “In the interest of being honest, he’s kind of wrapped up in some of the work I’m doing. Like, I’ve seen him a few times since I’ve lived here, since you and I have been involved. Nothing’s happened,” he’s quick to add, “but he’s one of those people that, if he needed me, I, I’d have to help him out. I’d _want_ to help him out,” he amends. “He, he’s more family than the people I’m actually related to, if that makes sense.”  
  
Luke can feel his own heart thumping in his chest. “It... it sounds like you really care about him.”  
  
Alex purses his lips. “I do.”  
  
Luke frowns. “Why did it end?”  
  
“He wanted to be good for somebody,” Alex says. “And it wasn’t me.”  
  
***  
They’re closer, after that. Alex starts to talk a little more about his past, seems a little more secure in the relationship. It’s his second real one, it turns out. Luke just gapes at him when he says that.  
  
“Why?” he sputters.  
  
Alex scoffs. “The homophobic dad, the small town, the military... take your pick. And Michael was always...” He trails off. “Michael had a lot of secrets. He had a tough life, tough background. We were never really open about what we had. I never felt like we could be, really. Not in a safe way.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, there was a guy. Also from my hometown. That was right before I moved here. We dated for a little while. It was nice. He was nice.” Alex shrugs. “It, it was good for me. It’s the first time I was ever really out with a guy in public. Like for a _date_ , not just a…” He smiles a little. “Yeah. Anyway, it helped me take a chance with you, when I saw you in that bar.”  
  
“Then I owe him one,” Luke says, leaning in for a kiss.

***

Then it happens.  
  
“Pick up your goddamn phone,” Luke is muttering through gritted teeth. He’s sent about twenty texts already, and he’s worried. About Alex, yeah, but also about the whole goddamn world. And himself. And Alex, well. Alex is ex-military. Kind of a prepper, maybe? Like, a little paranoid, but that’s good, in a situation like this. If Alex even knows what’s going on. Cause Luke can just imagine him, plugging away at his computer, oblivious to the world and the big fucking bombshell that’s just dropped.  
  
Voicemail. Fuck. Luke hangs up without leaving a message, reconsiders, calls again. Breathes impatiently through all the rings, hears the tone, and starts talking.  
  
“Alex? Alex, I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing, or if you’ve seen the news, but...” he falters. “God, if you haven’t already heard, this is going to sound absolutely insane, but there, there are aliens. Fucking _aliens_ , and they’re like, broadcasting messages, something about an ‘Alighting,’ and they’re like, looking for other aliens, and they’re showing pictures and they look just like the rest of us, man, and I’m kind of freaking out, and I thought your cabin, with you, might be better than my apartment downtown, so if you get this, just, just please - “  
  
Another tone cuts him off, and he hits the steering wheel in frustration. “God damn it!” he shouts. He tries to make himself breathe, be safe. Cause the last thing he fucking needs is a car wreck in the middle of a fucking alien invasion.  
  
The cabin’s in view... but Alex isn’t there.

His car is gone, and the door is ajar.

Alex... Alex’s door is never unlocked. Luke parks, opens his door. Approaches the cabin. There’s a sinking feeling in his chest as he sees the single piece of paper taped to the door.  
  
_Luke_ , it reads.  
  
_I’m sorry_ _._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Come say hi on tumblr (aewriting).
> 
> Title is from "Thorn in My Side," by the Eurythmics.


End file.
